Australia vs Italy - World Cup Special

Italy vs Ukraine is about as unremarkable a quarter-final as anyone could have hoped for, with neither time displaying much ability to create and accept opportunities to score. Fortunately though, we will always have the ABC/ESPN commentary team to keep us entertained.

Some specials from today's 2nd round match:

• "That's why you gotta play the ball in the air and give him a chance to jump over him" - an explanation of how Italy should tactically leverage the height of their strikers
• "So much of the roster of Australia are top notch players"
• "They're trying to get a huge offensive thrust with all those men at the striker position" - I think this was intended to imply that Italy were looking to attack
• "Tim Cahill was subbed in and scored" - actually, maybe this one's not as bad as it sounded
• "He plays in Crystal City in England" - I can only assume that he thought that Crystal Palace was home to the soveriegn ruler of Crystal City?
• "Italy forcing the turnover" - erm, there we go with the cross-sport references. Keep your gridiron to yourself, please!
• "Italy, on the foot of Gilardino, couldn't connect for the score" - indeed, they couldn't.
• "That's what Italy have to do, they have to sell all the fouls to see if they can get one of the Australians thrown out" - more tremendous tactical advice

You can't help but enjoy it, in a pathetically twisted sort of way.