Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Worst Bond movie ever?

Debatable, to be sure, but the fact that it's even a consideration is a major let-down.

Granted, it was a better than average action movie - but the problem is, that's all it was. Car chase, followed by foot chase, followed by boat chase, followed by plane chase. I can only assume that the train chase was left on the editing room floor.

So what was wrong with the movie?

  1. Worst. Bond Theme Song. Ever. Simple as that. There have been some good, and some great, Bond theme songs in the past - just think of View to a Kill, Live and Let Die, Goldfinger, Nobody Does it Better. There have been a couple of misses too, especially in the Timothy Dalton and Pierce Brosnan eras, but ultimately, even the oft-maligned All Time High (from Octopussy) was streets ahead of the abysmal Another Way To Die
  2. Speaking of Bond Themes, where was the signature theme in the movie? I heard a few distant cousins along the way, but Bond without his theme? Give me a break
  3. Gadgets? Hello? If Q could be succeeded by R, he presumably was also preceded by P. So where's P?
  4. Dry wit? Bond is an English Spy. Not an American Assassin. Sarcastic British humour is a quintessential part of his character. Only the perfunctory and somewhat lame "He was a dead end" line came close.
  5. Let's face it. Bond is a "sexist, mysoginist dinosaur. A relic of the Cold War." If you need to re-imagine him, make up a new character. Start a 008 franchise if you must.
At the end of the day, if James Bond is not deliviring cutting one-liners, bedding women, and saving the world in the nick of time with the aid of a cool gadget or two, then he doesn't really exist. A castrated Bond is worthless. I'll go watch one of the Matt Damon Bourne movies if I just want an action thriller.

Here's hoping the next effort gets the franchise back on track. It's not a co-incidence that there were a grand total of 13 people in the cinema last night.


Anonymous said...

Though I did enjoy the movie overall, I must say that a Bond movie where Bond doesn't sleep with the Bond girl leaves a big unfulfilled hole in the movie.

Anonymous said...

Would like to hear you analyze whether Strawberry Fields was wearing anything under that trenchcoat.

Anonymous said...

I believe Daniel Craig can answer that question. Lucky sod.

Anonymous said...

I second your thoughts. Although Pierce Brosnan bond movies were marginally worse. Hope to see a better bond movie up next. I think Daniel Craig is one of the better bonds in recent times. Hope the movie plot and director do justice to that fact.